Vegas ~ Z vs, The Air Waitress

The Opposite of My Air Waitress

I just wanted to chill. I had a 4 hour flight to Vegas ahead of me and I was seriously thinking about trying to take a nap. It took about 7 seconds to realize that was going to be difficult.

Fa-chit-chit-chit, fa-chit-chit-chit, fa-chit-chit-chit, fa-chit-chit-chit. That is the sound that comes out of iPod earbuds when you sit close to them. The kid in back of me had fa-chit-chit-chit coming out of his iHead. The problem was that EVERY song was fa-chit-chit-chit. Absolutely no difference between songs...fa-chit-chit-chit. Great. Just great.

So I decide to amuse myself and take some troll shots of Zeebers looking out the window. Not only did the guy sitting next to me not get it, nobody sitting anywhere close to me got it. I am now that really weird dude in 27B taking photos of a little plastic doll. Great. Just great.

Zeebers Checking Out The View

As I head to the modern torture device otherwise known as an airplane lavatory, I notice some vacant seats in the back of the plane. The shades are drawn and I know the arms go up. Yep...I am going to escape to here and take a nap with my little plastic doll.

After I wipe the piss off of the inside of the Iron Maiden, I exited to the third row from the back only to find that the arms don't go up. But the very last row has the arms up. BONUS! The problem is that it has the purse and coat of a Air Waitress on it. No problem...

Before I go forward with the story, let me suggest that you never touch the personal belongings of an Air Waitress. From the front on the plane, she starts screaming Sir! Excuse me, Sir! She proceeds to repeat this at the top of her lungs as she makes the trek to the back of the plane.

By the time she arrives, every person on the plane is either standing up or has turned around to look at me with a purse in one hand and a plastic troll doll in the other. It was at this very moment that I became that weird person on the plane that scares the shit out of everyone. Great. Just great.

After being informed that the last row of seats is for the Air Waitresses only, I think I said something like "Chill out, man...I just want to take a nap with my doll." Her polite request that I return to my seat was politely refused as I found another seat and nestled down for my nap.

I don't sleep well on planes and I was awake enough to know for certain that not one person on that plane walked to the back to use the lavatory for the remainder of the trip.

Great. Just great...