Illinois ~ Arriving at Bills

 

I got a call from the train station.  A dusky, hoarse voice that sounded like 12 pounds of gravel being poured through a corrugated steel tube said "Come get me you bastard."

It could only be Lil Zeebers.
And fortunately today was a good day to pick up strange trolls.  In strange towns.  Filled with strange people.

And I'm one of them.

This is a rough town (I'm making that up).  Ground Zero (I'm not making that up).  Zeebers (shown here with the Transportation Building in the background) was strip searched when he arrived and debarked - first time I've heard of that one.  I think it's because the papers he is carrying are somewhat suspect.

First, stop for a cup of coffee and breakfast.  I had a Gypsy Pan, Lil Zeebers (I'm not making this up) ordered Really Sticky Buns.  Yummy. 

People stopped to ask questions about Zeebers.  One of them asked for his phone number.  He might get laid tonight. He'll need to rent a room. 

Lil Zeebers was a a good sport about the day, considering this is my day to stock up on necessities.  I had quite a list of things to accomplish.

 

We got kicked out of our first stop when Zeebers tried to hump a 3' long sex toy. They confiscated that SD card as evidence, the bastards.

 

I ran out of bourbon last week.  So, next stop another staple in any bachelor's larder.  Booze. 

Zeebers got a serious grin on his face when I told him I didn't drink cheap rotgut.

Thankfully I had put Zeebers' ID in my pocket.

 

Next, a nickel tour of the University of Illinois campus.  I found a good vantage point to show Zeebers our nuclear reactor (no, I'm not kidding) sitting in the middle of town, next to all of the supercomputers not kidding, again).
 
He was amazed at how huge the campus is.  And how enormous some of the buildings are.  (This was taken at the top of an 8 story parking garage that takes up a city block at University and Goodwin, for anyone keeping score.)

Next I took Zeebers to see the world's Second Smallest Municipal Park. See that patch of prairie grass over his shoulder?  That's the park. I am not making this up, either.